Obsessiveness is me........Amidst the accelerating eyes watching you
Bite your tongue at the questions I curl up,
I curl up in my jacket, running my fingers through
your linseed hair and piles of shallow notes.
It's me, with dirt on my elbows and knees and heart
That I notice only when you rob me of my conscience
It's the evening hush compressing lucid thoughts
Into dreams that elude me several years on.
Humiliation is me........Sitting next to you, head on your shoulder;
Lips sealed in surprise and hands cuddled.
Two atoms amidst a nuclear explosion of bodies,
sound and a variegated halo of merging souls.
It's me knowing the name of the candy you've put,
by a sniff, to your lips before you arrived.
You're high like a kite. I'm here on the ground.
I'm minute from up there and wingless from here.
Perseverance is me........Across the euphoria that holds us to dinner,
But keeps us apart; The sound of your spoon,
As it clicks its tongue against your plate.
It's me, symmetrically loving and hating you
take for granted the bits of my meal and wine.
The bits my lips left untouched by spooning it up
without word of permission and feeding naively,
the stray that sits at your toes. With my eyes.
Smallness is me........At the hands of your clueless-selfless beau,
Who kills me with his grace and prominent arms.
Who will always be kinder, smarter and tender.
Praiseworthy, gentler, wiser and better looking.
It's me, running, panting, trying to catch up
with his wit, attempting to tease out the roots,
Of his charm. I'm watching him watch you, watch me
Watch my manners, my words, myself and my watch.
Stubbornness is me........Half a decade on still lumbering between thoughts
Sifting through time, Conflating moments
Tangled in your hair. Entrenched under the floor
That speaks only, only of you and me. Will forever.
It's me, growing into the permanent spaces, unoccupied
that fell between us like rain, corroding me into nothing
I'm watching the sun re-possessing and capturing the floods.
The rainbow still finds me alive and growing. Although gloomy.